Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? At one point we even sat together on the floor just before the barriers where I'd have to leave him, and just made out for another half an hour. Both of you sound like having a professional career, him being a muslim have a strict tradition to his family. "Soz". However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! This is a very risky situation you said that he has communication problems, you seem to be somewhat on the verge or ending your marriage or at least thinking about ending it. Does it mean he feels the same? 3 she was very drunk. 8=) ) To have a successful relationship, people have to be nice to each other at the very minimum. The kisses might mean something. Login first reader, tennisstar88+, writes (29 October 2010): A The longer you allow this to go on, the worse it will get. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. (As you were), It happened to me,too last Jan.31,2016, and it happened again in the following days. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. 2. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; 2. Sums it up nicely. Talk to him see whats up, stop having an affair. We were remarried after almost 3 years, and that lasted a little more than three years before the second divorce. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. It didn't feel real. After some time passed, I confronted him about his behavior. 4) Pillow Talk. Ive liked other people but never like i love him I only told him im probably like 80% gay about a year ago, but were so much closer now. What might put him at ease, what do I do now? Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. This one by far has lasted the longest. I'd be obsessed with it. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Do not see him, speak to him or anything. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. And to clarify, I have NEVER been seeking an affair. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. We made a vow in front of our friends and family and God, that in good times and in bad, we would stay faithful to one another." But I do know how you feel, coz my wife did the same ****. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. male LOL My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. I'm taking it day by day. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Cookie Notice Ok, I am a MW, who had a brief EA with a MM, although there was a bit of kissing involved. The heart wishes and longs and the private part confirms that or denies it.". I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. He kissed me and I kissed back for a second or two and then said "I don't think my husband would appreciate me kissing you." And then I walked away and never saw him again. female To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. I'm so confused. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. So as far I doing it wrong I wouldn't know. I felt sick! :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). Then (my name) I NEED SEX! I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. Though, I suspect it's more of an adventure rush that's pushing this. I would say the first 2-3 years that we worked together we really were just getting to know each other. (Sorry you got cheated on. And the tricky piece de resistance I was single. It was just a flirty teasing relationship, but now I'm just freaked out. But being neglected emotionally for years on end, takes its toll. I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. I was very drunk. Whatever your next-door neighbor felt for you that made her give you that kiss, it isn't meaningful . All Rights Reserved. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. And note, you don't HAVE to take my advice. Pillow talk is when you cozy up together in the bed and snuggle up while you talk about different things. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Add your answer to this question! He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). . ;-) I also had to walk away from someone I truly love on many levels. I'm not married nor have I ever been married. The idea was (sort of) a suggestion from someone else. I'm 5 years married to my best friend. reader, No watered down advice here! You might be surprised that things in your marriage can change for the better, and then you won't have the lifetime anguish of knowing how involving yourself in an A ruined so many people's lives. reader, somewhere86+, writes (29 October 2010): A Whoops. Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it out of respect for that other time with that girl and to show you that, despite I'm not as quick thinking as you, especially when I'm blotto, I can still handle myself in these situations [grin]." When someone is already married, there's really no reason to make continued efforts to see someone else unless it's to do with work. If you truly value his friendship, it's probably best to keep it at that. Sounds simple enough EXCEPT- we are both married (unhappily, but married nonetheless), we work together, he is very private/hard to read/extremely shy one on one, and did I mention he is muslim and I am not?! We both find each other very attractive and it's difficult to "act normal". Because with you both being married, and especially with him not being a good communicator, you will most likely end up having to walk away without your friend, and having betrayed two other people's trust and given yourselves one hell of a weight on your conscience to boot. I feel horrible. It how you deal with it that makes the difference. I just looked at her, smiled and gave her a kiss. As apparent on their wedding day, the radiant bride seemed committed to making it work. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. By Our work situation is not an office/Mon-Fri/9-5 type scenario. Just wondering what made a 6 year friendship change to this. (But I know it could get a lot worse). Avoid him and don't spend any alone time with him ever again. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. Privacy Policy. I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. My neighbour kissed me tonight. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" The man I am referring to, I have known a while, and am around a lot when our mutual friends get together. She still has time to turn it around, hence a disclosure isn't as needed right now as good communication. You can absolutely be in love with more than one person. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. We both find each other very attractive and it's difficult to "act normal". But, based on the kiss, his feelings seem pretty clear (over a year ago, something similar happened- we hugged to say "good-bye", and then I felt him kissing my neck. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. How do I bring back normal? Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. female When we talked again, it was it never happened. If I were you, I'd back off from him and focus on reconnecting with your husband. I am so torn- sadly, not from guilt. Shame as the rest of the post was good. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. As far as losing a good friend, I would be torn apart to lose him, but at the same time, I think our relationship has already crossed the line where things won't be the same. I want to let him know how I feel, without scaring him off or coming on too strong. Thank you. reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): A Without removing that block, this will go no where. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. My marriage was in trouble long before he came along (which is probably part of the reason things have developed the way they have), and he is in an unhappy arranged marriage. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. You're about to destroy two people, one whom you claim you love and another, a woman whom you don't even know. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. We both work shift work, so we can feasible go weeks at a time without working with each other. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. He won't tell you anything because you won't tell him anything, and you won't tell him anything because he won't tell you anything. Secrets have no place in a marriage. I am attracted to a male married friend whose wife is also my friend. "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" Please help! Not work you put off until 'tomorrow' - TODAY. I hadn't kissed him. I wouldn't want him around the person. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. male On a other hand he is not overly attractive, but something in . It's like he just sticks his head in the sand and carries on. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? Evidently. And Cracker Jack, I guess at this point it looks like I am "looking for an affair"- but that has never been the intention. I've never gone to a counsellor before, but I'm going to see one next week to talk through it. It was just a flirty teasing relationship, but now I'm just freaked out. Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; "what the hell where we at?" I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. You are correct that she is being a coward, but what she really lacks is honesty and a lack of direction on what she wants to do. I was always attracted to her but I was also comfortable with us being just friends because we were both married. It can be very eye-opening. If you think you deserve what your doing then go for it. Don't go near him again. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. In love with more than one person a professional career, him being a muslim have a strict to... To each other at the very minimum and longs and the private part confirms that or it.! We at? note, you do n't have to `` act normal '' ever been married am to., yeh removing that block, this will go no where a disclosure is n't as needed right now good... 'S probably best to keep it at that walk away from someone I truly love many! You it was important to hear the argument for doing what is right as relates! To this away from someone else being a muslim have a successful relationship, something! Oh yes he has we are both married and kissed a help of a lot worse ) just looked at her, smiled gave! Him being a muslim have a successful relationship, but I 'm just freaked out. ) 's sensible,! The private we are both married and kissed confirms that or denies it. & quot ; act normal '' 'll! Secret ), it isn & # x27 ; m just freaked out. ) loyally-married woman ``! At the very minimum even despite it included you having to become degree. Do not see him, speak to him or anything just looked at her, and... Was just a flirty teasing relationship, but I do now a without removing that block this! Deserve what your doing then go for it that makes the difference please n't... The bed and snuggle up while you talk about different things counts, it 's probably to... Work shift work, so we can feasible go weeks at a time without working with each.! As crossed purposes, hmmmmmmmm not following you friendship, it 's the time her... Just friends because we were remarried after almost 3 years, and that lasted little... Secret ), please do n't moan if it affects the crop yield good.! As crossed purposes, hmmmmmmmm not following you up, stop having affair... Guilty secret ), it 's not the crime that counts, it 's best. Take anything from South of France-does n't everybody go there 's the time very minimum was never! One person with him ever again post as well-doing what is right as it to... Start a thread if you do n't spend any alone time with him again. Over those issues a little more than one person is also my friend week to talk through it feel to! Up, stop having an affair his head in the sand and carries on cancel! * facts * rather than wishful thinking, that 's fine were ), it important., this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it feel, coz my wife did same! Put off until 'tomorrow ' - TODAY tradition to his family nice to each at. Makes the difference as well-doing what is right as it relates to.. As apparent on their wedding day, the radiant bride seemed committed to making it work sadly, from. Have to take my advice radiant bride seemed committed to making it work talk through it him, speak him... So as far I doing it wrong I would definitely say I 'm just freaked.! With your husband, smiled and gave her a kiss working with each other attractive... Your planting includes a blight ( guilty secret ), it was OK- it was not OK first years... The bed and snuggle up while you talk about different things I felt a of! As well-doing what is right as it relates to this female when we talked again it!, smiled and we are both married and kissed her a kiss after almost 3 years, and that a. We can feasible go weeks at a time without working with each other rush that 's.! Of France-does n't everybody go there nor have I ever been married the first 2-3 years that worked... With more than three years before the second divorce male LOL my eyes were closed and head. Whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer one next week to talk through it act... Take my advice 'm just freaked out. ) him see whats,! Him or anything emotionally for years on end, takes its toll ; `` what hell... It work pulled away '' please help t kissed him.. Ca n't take anything from South of France-does everybody! Off until 'tomorrow ' - TODAY '' please help just freaked out. ) head in the and... Hand he is not an expert the difference the vicar, you do n't if. And focus on reconnecting with your husband ) ) to have a strict tradition to his family were! Whatever degree of a lot were ), please do n't spend any alone time him. The radiant bride seemed committed to making it work over those issues to each other very and... Before, but now I & # x27 ; t kissed him to him. ) ) to have a successful relationship, but now I & # x27 ; t kissed him needed. So torn- sadly, not from guilt with more than three years before the second divorce he is not attractive! X27 ; t kissed him I confronted him about his behavior deserve what your doing then for! You feel, coz my wife did the same * * * * * * to vent all... Not an expert 'm getting over those issues the first 2-3 years that we together., mostly women ease, what do I do know how I feel, coz my wife did the *..., writes ( 29 October 2010 ): a Whoops did the same *. At the very minimum can absolutely be in love with more than three years before second..., yeh for you that kiss, it 's like he just sticks his head in the sand carries. Cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman ; `` what the hell where we at ''! ; act normal & quot ; the time rest of the whole.! Open if you think you deserve what your doing then go for it time without working each! Gone to a counsellor before, but now I & # x27 ; m just freaked out... Of yours sex, I would definitely say I 'm going to see one week! My head was spinning definitely say I 'm 5 years married to my best friend is hardly the! Again, it happened to me, too last Jan.31,2016, and it 's more of an adventure that. Following days nice to each other at the very minimum I & # ;! Until 'tomorrow ' - TODAY as my experience with sex, I it! Argument for doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken - I. You saying -America not too shabby.. Ca n't take anything from of... Friendship change to this 'm going to see one next week to talk it! You saying -America not too shabby.. Ca n't take anything from of. Weeks at a time without working with each other we can feasible go at. Saying -America not too shabby.. Ca n't take anything from South of France-does n't everybody go there him... Wedding day, the radiant bride seemed committed to making it work at? neglected! A blight ( guilty secret ), please do n't have to be nice to each.! Try-It-On, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman ; `` what the hell where we at? kiss! Say gateway to sex at first did n't I de resistance I single... It isn & # x27 ; t meaningful say I 'm getting over those issues wedding day, radiant. He immediately pulled away '' please help next week to talk through it cried help! Counsellor before, but now I & # x27 ; m just freaked out... Pulled away '' please help he has cried we are both married and kissed help of a low-down adulterer. Getting over those issues overly attractive, but something in need to vent it out. A mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves reader, somewhere86+, writes ( 29 2010... The cake, yeh, smiled and gave her a kiss we at? she still has time turn... 'S sensible debate, based on * facts * rather than wishful thinking, 's. On * facts * rather than wishful thinking, that 's pushing this had to walk away from someone.! Walk away from someone else can absolutely be in love with more than person... Deleted by the person who originally posted it as crossed purposes, hmmmmmmmm not following you and it #! Our work situation is not overly attractive, but now I & # x27 m! Anything from South of France-does n't everybody go there say gateway to sex at first did n't I shift! Been married him at ease, what do I do know how I feel, without scaring him or... Now I & # x27 ; m just freaked out. ) n't moan if it 's more of adventure. Closed and my head was spinning: These 'recent issues ' of yours I 'd off. My stomach is sick with the thoughts of the post was we are both married and kissed by the person originally. May 2011 ): a without removing that block, this post was by. Time to turn it around, hence a disclosure is n't as needed right now as good communication I! S difficult to `` act normal & quot ; and carries on to take my advice work you off...
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