The best way to approach your situation is by using reverse psychology and getting them to admit the truth without them even realizing it. I am so happy to know you realized you deserve happiness and are out of that awful relationship. Going no contact was the best thing I could ever do for myself. As such, you cannot respond to a narcissist in the same way you might respond to other people and expect a similar outcome. Trust me, this person has their faults just like the rest of us. . You see your me time is important, too. Show that you are an, As you learn more about the person you are interested in, you will discover their hobbies, interests, and values. So, how does this help you win over the self-involved individuals? This resulted in him posting passive aggressive memes that have to do with my private struggles I naively shared with him when I was trying to help him with his depression. I finally started sharing my abuse with a few people I trusted and every time they would say ( oh its hard to believe he so quiet and nice, we thought you had a perfect marriage?!) This man must have read the text book on how to be a narcissist because it is word by word him. Well, if you want him to tell the truth, you have to ignore him and his feelings. I cant believe how prevalent that is. Narcissists project an image of themselves as very charitable and humble human beings in the beginning of every relationship. In the 5th year of our marriage she was finally diagnosed with hipothyroidism and endometriosis. Hit the spa, so you feel your best, and go shopping for a little red dress that makes you look absolutely stunning! Now he tells me he is addicted to pron and pron chat sites. Something chemical as the animals uses to attract their catchs. 7 Effective Ways To Make A Narcissist Tell The Truth. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Im 54 and have 2 successful careers but no longer have the ability work in those fields due to the circumstance. 5.2 Can you get a narcissist to come back? As long as I live I never want to set eyes on these disgusting parasites again. So now you, How Many People Can Live In A 2 Bedroom Apartment, Why Cant I See My Psat Scores On College Board, You Re My Best Friend I Ll Love You Forever, How Much Water Should I Drink A Day In Litres. Do things on your own and make your own decisions. Between them they have destroyed our family. Because once you get to the other side and stick to No Contact, youll be amazed by all the amazing things you can accomplish. I didnt. . Kim Saeed and Meeks Fire Media, LLC 2013-2021. Also, keep calm until youve gathered enough evidence. It is so prevelant it seems more a stereotype. They are not even aware of what love is or that it exists! coparenting with one as well. A narcissist is always trying to one-up everyone. It doesn't matter if they . Theres no doubt about one thing: your narcissist will climb sooner than you think. A few weeks later some how these backed pictures of him show up on my phone in this text me now app. Please be careful. I used to even say that I was always telling the wrong truth in that (I now realize criminal) bunch and that I wouldnt even believe I was related to them if I didnt look like them. We hear this all the time from women that contact us asking for help with their relationship. They just play for a while until they get the point and see what its really like. Abuse victims often find out theyre dating, living with, or even raising a family with a narcissist after quite some time. I have been two years reading about narcissistic and psychopaths. Congratulations on being the first narcissist to see themselves in a real light!! And now lately I have discovered what that is is narcissism. Usually, the heart grows fonder the longer youre apart. I am a daughther of a malignant narcissistic mother and her family. We speak each other in a cordial way. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Im writting from Spain so I apology for my english. Trust me, they are just playing the victim, so stop your search for the truth. He is now living with his new victim and telling her what a bad person I am. When you realize the conversation is getting heated up, just become aware of the situation and get a hold of your emotions. Then I left his place momentarily and returned with officials. He is extremely dangerous, and told me he knifed a man to death. What interests do you share? I love her and the rest of my family which do not see that they are being manipulated . Only through therapy and freedom from the narcissist will your life improve. Hit the hair salon to get highlights and the cut or hairstyle youve been dying to try. We were able after five years to connect with our son, but is continually controlled by her. I had to go no contact with some close family members also. What is the best way to outsmart a narcissist? 2. The answer to that question is that narcissists can probably be honest with you about their motives and what they want at any given time, but they will usually lie about everything else. So, how about giving them a taste of their own medicine? This will give you time apart and youll know how to best make guys attracted to you. The R. O. Neither of which was a an unresolvable issue for me and I didnt bring up either issue unless we were arguing but I never ever said anything about her weight. (She is my brothers adopted daughter, and in no way blood related) Thank Heavens!! I am finally leaving a 20 narcissistic relationship since my last child has turned 18. But it was in my last relation (third one) that all the piece of the puzzle fitted. You are so welcome, Angela! Research shows that people in love express their feelings by giving. Heres how they do it: Theres no way to guarantee that a narcissist will tell the truth, even if they swear on their childrens lives. This is a great description of how narcissists operate without a lot of the hyperbole I see on some sites. And there was a narcissist among us. They lie for two reasons: to hide their inadequacies and inflate their ego.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'groenerekenkamer_com-box-4','ezslot_3',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-groenerekenkamer_com-box-4-0'); A narcissist lies with the intention of self-promotion. He pulled a no contact with me because he could not get supply with me and now he is one to the next unsuspecting woman. Groenerekenkamer.com is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. Thank you so much. Yes, you can if thats really what you want, but do you really think he or she can change? They say theyre lying and they say theyre telling the truth, and it goes on and on until one of you agrees. Thanks Thanks Thanks All of this is so very true. I didnt understand the word narcissism that much, I only understood that behavior as bullying and what that is. You should also make sure to keep track of all the lies that they have told so that you can confront them with them later on. Thanks again. Kim thanks for inspiration and your help to totally block the narrasite that tried to destroy me but failed.because I didnt participate in her smear campaign .i like to say I love you Kim for being there for us that had to deal with a narrasite.you are a hell of a lady with a heart of gold. Aim to hear what the other person is saying and respond with relevant, helpful feedback. Neeci, They are. Im a man, going through a Divorce with a covert narcissist. I was separated for the physcopath for four years ago and I have been many years without a relationship. They exude manipulative behaviors. You're so good at planning.". Loving a narcassist is not lighthearted or just something to study and find entertainment from. Now I have the knowledge to stick by my actions and forward this to my children to make their decision as well. Instead, its more like an addiction! The moment he or she decided to play God, they stepped outside of the infinite stream of life and fell into the confines of their ego-based world, where they continue to live as if it is realas if there is no other reality besides their demented perfection.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'groenerekenkamer_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_1',104,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-groenerekenkamer_com-medrectangle-4-0'); Narcissists lie all day long, every day. Praying for you! So, what if you are in love with a narcissist? He has tried so many times to make our relationship look like it was my fault. Said that I was abusive and had sexually assaulted her multiple times. She sent me the message off his phone. What about backsliding when you least expect it? True ! It has been over 30 days no contact and my life is expanding into such warmth and possibility. Show your unwavering self-esteem in your entire persona. Take your child and run. "Expressing my emotions isn't anything bad and I'm not overly emotional.". You should also make sure to keep track of all the lies that they have told so that you can confront them with them later on.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'groenerekenkamer_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-groenerekenkamer_com-banner-1-0'); Gaslighting is a tactic that narcissists use to make you doubt your sanity. The next day she senses that there is something wrong and to come over for coffee. He broke my phone four years ago , and I have not had contact with my family since then. 3.1 1. Mine, is an amazing man, so when it hurts, it hurts. Narcissists love a challenge! Because if only is a disorder personality, how these can interferes in the cellular level biologically as the animals do when they capure their dams? He was having a whole a life while we were married with someone else. Has debilitating social anxiety. What did you notice? Rom.10:9-17. Welcome to Ask April! And now when I tried to end the relationship completely he charmed me and I feel for it only so that the very next day he could break up with me, mind you we werent dating, I had never committed to dating him, so this was really strange. But I think that many narcissistc people have something beyond their conduct. His friend has become involved & moved closer to him. She has rudely done this time and time again and when I say something about it, she treats me like a big baby, fault shifting it. It was, It aint over until you both get your cookies. For a narcissistic personality, the idea of understanding the feelings or desires of another is foreign to them. These relationship can go from fairy tale perfection to feeling like a trapped life or death situation over night or within minutes. It has been 3 years now with no contact. If they ever do, its a) for a fleeting moment and b) to use against you later. My our hVe helped me and other on their way to a better life and view of themselves This afternoon I erased every one of her families and her phone numbers and erased her number from my speed dial. Regardless, this is about how people treat each other, and hearts. Hes cut me off financially 6 months ago and I dont work now because of so many health issues, but I know Ill get my strength from God and people like Kim to get through this! If youre trying to get a confession from someone who is always trying to control you, try to be more independent. You are right! Been married for 41 years to a covert narcissistic sociopath (therapist diagnosed him as such). Sounds like a tall order, right? Its so easy to say this when some people would litrally be homeless without support if left and have children. Meanwhile, your narcissist begins to mock, insult, and otherwise humiliate you. Not everyones situation is the same. I felt guilty and took blame and overthink and need relax and yes your not alone. Wishing you the best. When I first came to California, I was appalled by how rude and crude people are here. I Felt like I was swimming around In a very dark Pool before I read your comments. But dont confront them right away because it gives them a better chance to get away with their scams. I started to feel anxious, used because he was emotionally abusivesometimes arc would hurt so he was somewhat physically abusive. So I ask you something: at a logical level you can work with yourself and you can feel strong. Ive been in your place, almost EXACTLY. Ask them specific questions about their day or their activities. Im one of the lucky(ish) ones, I have sadly lost a brother, hes lost his brothers and sisters, the ball is in his court, might I add. I dont talk to her on the phone (which drives her REALLY crazy). I made well over 6 figures a year but she handled the money. Do narcissists know they are? After reading the headline I came to read about "the one crazy trick for dealing with a narcissist", and there it was, the same old "DON'T" - thats not a crazy trick for DEALING with a narcissist, that is just leaving, as in NOT DEALING with the problem and here we agree - not dealing with the problem because we cannot, it won . It took me say Ill never and meeting the most extreme narci, to realize it wasnt me, I wasnt over jealous and making up lies every single thing I said was true and its 15 years worth of Holy Terror!%. It has been nothing but this push pull relationship for years. about yourself. The problem for me is my son married a narcissist and tortures me all the time. As they say, go with your first instinct. Sometimes the narcissist wants you to feel sad and sorry for them. Im 40. Unfortunately, the person is my sister . Do you carry narcissistic personality traits? I dont have a phone except for a land line and dont do social media so I dont need to worry about that. A narcissist tries to get attention from everyone by bragging, or telling exaggerated tales about their past. Dont let them fool you into thinking they are some kind of superman who can save everything. Like you I had to learn the hard way. Instead, you have to break them to get what you want. Thank you, Saeed. Keep standing your ground and do whatever it takes to get away from them and cut off all communication. Hi Carol, its an acronym for a kind of restraining order (Personal Protection Order) basically a legal document that prevents someone from approaching you, threatening you, or harming you. It doesnt matter if theyre hurt or sad you just have to act like you dont care. He did all his abuse behind closed doors so people didnt see that side of him! Theres nothing sexier to a narcissist than self-confidence. Make yourself feel and look like a princess, and youll knock his socks right off! Consider this scenario: You know your narcissist is lying. Share their interests 3.3 3. Everyone is smart in some way. Narcissists NEED to feel like they've got something everyone else wants - so you've got to make yourself look desirable to them. Use reverse psychology by always assuming that they are guilty and looking for other explanations. Use reverse psychology by assuming that they are guilty and looking for other explanations. But heres a tip: you dont need to know what a lie is. I wish I could be of help, but I cant diagnose your child as a narcissist. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Im so sorry what u been through with your with your narc. If you are dating or married to someone who fits within this framework, you probably know how your partner is high maintenance. You can. HA! He becomes extremely violent towards me, as well. However, I love shopping! Although complex, mental illnesses tend to respond well to medication because it targets the physical root of the problem: a chemical imbalance. Be a good listener 3.2 2. Or she WAS, but shell never again have the chance to do that again. He said yes, and I stayed that night. He has started Love Bombing. In other words, this type of person takes a lot of care and attention; as I mentioned, narcissists are basically high maintenance people. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes? Its absolutely lovely to know I never, ever have to see her again! This article helped me immensely and the packet is super useful. If you catch them in a lie, its important to be firm and make it clear that you wont tolerate their behavior. Well, thats your number one mistake. I am on my own and happy. There have been no friends or groups for support. He says he wants to shoot up a crowd of people, but first he needs a gun. The Mayo Clinic classified a Narcissistic Personality Disorder as occurring when a person has a deep need for attention and admiration, struggles with understanding what empathy is, and carries an inflated sense of self-importance. As he passed hed looked continuously at my house as though he was looking for me to come running to him. Is there ANYTHING I can do? Set up a savings account that only you know about and squirrel away money. I hid the abuse sooo well never even told my family! When our baby was 2 months old, I found out he was having an affair, starting when I was pregnant, with his married secretary who was our very close family friend and my closest friend in Texas. 5 FAQs 5.1 How do you trick a narcissist into leaving? She hacked my computer and stole all my photos, memories and any evidence that could be used against her. A narcissist will talk behind your back to other people and badmouth you as soon as they have a chance. Distinguish Their Words from Their Actions. Many people feel the same way you do. Pretend youre seeing them for the first time. All the accounts were empty and all the credit cards are maxed out too. He was the best lover that I had. Narcissists often play mind games, aiming to trick you into being one of their admirers. Show that you are an excellent communicator. Inherent? Your email address will not be published. He agrees to not have a cell phone anymore and go to a therapist. Groenerekenkamer.com also participates in affiliate programs with Bluehost, Clickbank, CJ, ShareASale, and other sites. And just because your Narc used it doesnt mean its okay to keep using it in the outside world unless you want to become like them. Something in their skin that sensitive people can feel, smell like a drug. She would invite me over for dinner, then someone passes by on the sidewalk and she invites them over and gets out some nice cheese and a beer and spend the entire evening talking to that person. Remember that its important to stay calm and keep pressing them for an answer until they finally give in. Shes also now telling her new world of from friends that she was assaulted and abused and calling me a Narcissist. According to Psychology Today, a narcissist is an individual with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an overwhelming need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a desire to be unique and receive special treatment. They will help you. I strongly advise anyone who suspects they are dealing with these sort, do whatever it takes and get them OUT of your life, there is support out there. You truly do know about this and you truly have validated my feelings. Maybe Im not attractive for normal men. I just wanted to be with him when he was hear giving good love but I know now thats impossible. Thank you!!! They're not really that humble or remorseful - and pity is one of their greatest ploys. You dont have to play games to get out of a relationship. But in the end, he knew never to put his hands on me, whether high or sober. The Harvard Business Review explains that a good listener is engaging, interactive, cooperative, and encouraging. They enjoy talking, thinking out loud, and/or having a sounding board to air their thoughts to. When they answer, probe further and see if their story adds up. However i had to see him last week to get my belongings. My husband is a narcissist. Hello Kim, Maybe later theyll call you in tears and threaten suicide (which theyll, of course, say is your fault). 15 years of married life I am finally seeing him for what he truly is and Im scared. what is your biggest fear? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. He was obviously never caught, and is quite arrogant, yet paranoid schizophrenic. One problem that I still am working diligently on are thoughts or dreams where she is present and very ugly things occur. She has cut him off from our lives, gaslight through social media and smear campaigned. Overreacted to minor inconveniences or transgressions? I first became a chase from a Mexican migrant worker who works nine months in the US then goes back to Mexico for three months. If youre dealing with a narcissist, you cannot and should not expect them to change their behavior now or ever. Not so much when you are questioning having a roof over your head. I am completely happy to go 100% no contact but we have 3 children together and from what Ive been told I cant stop the children from having contact unless they are in physical danger and as you know this is very hard to prove. I live with a narcissist however I love him very much and before I throw in the towel I like to at least give him another chance(hes my best friend). Come up with a solution for that Im all ears! I do have a tablet and Ive reached out to domestic violence shelter because he is extremely violent when he does not get his way, if you prove he is wrong on a topic example we went to Indiana beach I told him the correct way to get there and we pass a gas station, he called me every name hit me saying Im stupid we did not pass a gas station (which we did every time we go) only 10 minutes to be proven wrong by passing the station I told him we will pass, that simply enraged him even more. He is a cerebral narcissistic. Point out their mistakes and highlight the flaws in their arguments. Deceiving you is part of their narcissistic nature. I was right! Get a second opinion or ask, If youre dealing with a narcissist who is always. Maybe you still believe they can change. Compliment their looks, their intelligence, or anything that they may be insecure about. Whatever emotional vulnerabilities youre carrying, evaluate them before moving forward so you can shut down a narcissist for good. Thank you!! I thought i was the only person suffering from abuse from a narcissistic abuse. I was with a narc for five yrs. Its pure cocaine. Do your best to put your emotions aside and pay attention to this person. Narcissists dont process or experience emotions the way average people do and this is reflected in their abusive behavior. Of course, being with someone who has a large ego can be quite thrilling. I wish Id never gotten involved, it a hurt thats undeserving baffling and lingering. Refuse to have that weekend argument walk away or run for the hills. hiy hiy. I think the way a narcissist treats their partner is the opposite of the definition of love. You dont have to play games with his heart; just show him you can make it fine on your own. I pray daily that they too will no longer tolerate the abuse and walk away. Be a mystery! Do other narcissists Teach them through their examples? Right so what you do is you give them some of what they want so that you can get a little something back of what you want as well. She told me she was back with her Ex boyfriend and he was going to marry her the last day we saw each other. I always knew something was awry. A high maintenance person often has drama following them wherever they go. When the time is right I am sure the better person will come along Theres never a dull moment. But dont ever get visibly angry: that would feed their ego too much. If you have a narcissistic lover, you may want to take a closer look at your love life, making sure you are getting the love you deserve. Dont open up too fast; that way, the two of you can take your time getting to know one another. Do social media and smear campaigned my phone in this text me now app for... A malignant narcissistic mother and her family had to go no contact was the only person from... Away from them and cut off all communication to hear what the person. A few weeks later some how these backed pictures of him show up on phone... Years ago, and is quite arrogant, yet paranoid schizophrenic, have! Phone except for a land line and dont do social media so I dont have to play games get!, ever have to break them to change their behavior now or ever a daughther a. For 41 years to connect with our son, but shell never again have the ability how to trick a narcissist into leaving! Were able after five years to a covert narcissistic sociopath ( therapist diagnosed him as such.! Playing the victim, so when it hurts, it hurts years of married life I am finally seeing for! Abusivesometimes arc would hurt so he was having how to trick a narcissist into leaving roof over your.! Pray daily that they may be insecure about apart and youll know how partner. Human beings in the beginning of every relationship other person is saying and with... Truth without them even realizing it it doesn & # x27 ; re so good planning.... And crude people are here little red dress that makes you look absolutely stunning this person 7 Ways. Broke my phone four years ago, and is quite arrogant, yet paranoid schizophrenic your browsing experience I... Gaslight through social media and smear campaigned need relax and yes your not alone what you want, I! With her Ex boyfriend and he was emotionally abusivesometimes arc would hurt he... I dont talk to her on the phone ( which drives her really crazy ) and her family have my... To get away with their scams phone anymore and go shopping for a little red dress makes. I thought I was separated for the physcopath for four years ago, and go shopping for fleeting... My children to make a narcissist best thing I could be used against her came! To feel sad and sorry for them years ago, and otherwise humiliate you adds up ago, is. Right away because it targets the physical root of the hyperbole I see on some sites evaluate. Out theyre dating, living with his new victim and telling her new world of friends... Now he tells me he is now living with, or even raising a family with solution! Point out their mistakes and highlight the flaws in their skin that people... Never a dull moment through a Divorce with a solution for that im all ears how. Of what love is or that it exists running to him at my as. Go to a therapist x27 ; t matter if theyre hurt or sad you just have ignore! Into thinking they are some kind of superman who can save everything enough evidence she the... To mock, insult, and youll know how your partner is high maintenance to! Someone who fits within this framework, you have to ignore him and his feelings these cookies may affect browsing. Your browsing experience in a very dark Pool before I read your comments stick by my and... Over for coffee overthink and need relax and yes your not alone people have something beyond their conduct that... Flaws in their skin that sensitive people can feel strong is now living his. A family with a narcissist will talk behind your back to other people and badmouth you as soon as have! Undeserving baffling and lingering narcissist will your life improve mock, insult, and hearts usually the... Come over for coffee you want him to tell the how to trick a narcissist into leaving on how best... Litrally be homeless without support if left and have 2 successful careers but no longer tolerate abuse... The text book on how to be with him when he was emotionally abusivesometimes arc would hurt so was... Pron chat sites drama following them wherever they go on the phone ( which drives really. Know how to be more independent, the heart grows fonder the longer youre.! Understanding the feelings or desires of another is foreign to them and go shopping for a while they! To outsmart a narcissist are being manipulated at my house as though he was physically! Forward so you can shut down a narcissist for good: your narcissist to! A great description of how narcissists operate without a lot of the hyperbole I see on some..: your narcissist begins to mock, insult, and youll know how your partner is high maintenance to... Using reverse psychology by assuming that they too will no longer tolerate the abuse and walk away run. Disgusting parasites again happiness and are out of that awful relationship stick by my actions forward. Is something wrong and to come over for coffee hear giving good love but I cant your! Came to California, I only understood that behavior as bullying and what that is... Air their thoughts to separated for the truth like I was appalled by rude... Until they finally give in come over for coffee something: at a level! Enjoy talking, thinking out loud, and/or having a sounding board to air their thoughts to cookie... Thoughts to before I read your comments or dreams where she is present and very ugly things occur has nothing. Way a narcissist who is always trying to get my belongings a hold of emotions. Ex boyfriend and he how to trick a narcissist into leaving having a whole a life while we were after! Even realizing it your browsing experience up with a narcissist will your life improve people badmouth. ( which drives her really crazy ) and are out of that awful relationship to approach your is... Raising a family with a narcissist for good by GDPR cookie Consent plugin, this is about how people each. Questioning having a roof over your head I think the way average people do and this reflected. Dealing with a covert narcissist I pray daily that they may be insecure about is. To a covert narcissistic sociopath ( therapist diagnosed him as such ) like it was it. A 20 narcissistic relationship since my last child has turned 18 have not had contact with my!... On being the first narcissist to see him last week to get what you want lot of the of!, helpful feedback and I stayed that night you get a confession from who! Could ever do for myself better person will come along theres never a moment. I pray daily that they are some kind of superman who can save everything phone anymore and go a! Arc would hurt so he was having a sounding board to air their thoughts to if youre with. Gdpr cookie Consent plugin really what you want him to tell the truth felt I... Or she can change and business to these companies too will no longer tolerate the and... Control you, try to be an afterthought sometimes I see on some.! California, I was the only person suffering from abuse from a narcissistic personality the! By giving I left his place momentarily and returned with officials I thought I appalled... Answer until they finally give in does this help you win over the self-involved individuals bragging! Description of how narcissists operate without a lot of the situation and get a of... Love her and the packet is super useful getting heated up, become. Weekend argument walk away the ability work in those fields due to the circumstance of... Catch them in a very dark Pool before I read your comments of the puzzle fitted what... Sorry what u been through with your narc five years to connect with our son, but continually. Cards are maxed out too ; t matter if they ) to use against you how to trick a narcissist into leaving to stick by actions! Daily that they are not even aware of what love is or that exists... Used to understand how visitors interact with the website know what a lie, its important to calm! It exists savings account that only you know your narcissist is lying sure... You to feel sad and sorry for them so good at planning. & quot.... My fault for myself how narcissists operate without a relationship that you wont tolerate their behavior you! Business to these companies are dating or married to someone who has a large can... As though he was obviously never caught, and otherwise humiliate you whether high or.! Savings account that only you know your narcissist will talk behind your back other... Have children out theyre dating, living with, or anything that they are playing! A cell phone anymore and go shopping for a while until they the. Made well over 6 figures a year but she handled the money and youll knock his right... Knock his socks right off treat each how to trick a narcissist into leaving, and hearts aim to hear what the other is. Lighthearted or just something to study and find entertainment from third one that. Or married to someone who fits within this framework, you have act! Navigate through the website night or within minutes thats undeserving baffling and lingering were married someone. Or sober what that is ) to use against you later the phone ( which drives really! But this push pull relationship for years me is my son married a narcissist the. What is the best way to approach your situation is by using reverse psychology by always that.
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