Now I knew several people who were using them as part of therapy. . That had been one of her greatest fears about coming to stay with us in the first place, that she would be unable to take care of herself, that she would be a burden, that she would embarrass herself. Finally he stopped going in. In making the journey to Oz, she had found the strength and clarity she needed to go home again. While they were gone I tried to imagine it: the cancer back, the wallet gone, strangers. I told her I would pick her up at the airport. , The Amazing Rita Wilson's New Film About Choosing Life; How she beat cancer & Became A Songwriter, 'Hot, Sweaty And Itchy' Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man-- When To Seek Help, 'Miracle Baby Girl' For 29-Year-Old Who Thought Motherhood Would Not Be Possible After Late Stage Cancer Fight, 54-Year-Old's Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apple's Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself, 'World's Sharpest Elbowed' Comedian Vows To Do 'Fabulous' Last Tour As Ovarian Cancer Comes Back, Transthyretin Amyloid Cardiomyopathy (ATTR-CM), Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, opted out of his position as a cornerback. You yourself are heartfelt, and all the love in the world has been expressed. She had made up her mind that it was going to be okay. How could anything have been saved? Surely there would be a story there for one of us. Shed only been here for a couple of hours. Because if I didnt know that Sooki had a husband, how much did she know about me, about us? I went upstairs to get the scissors out of my sewing basket. Thats been everything to me, and my life. Backstage, she met his beguiling assistant. Kundalini is nothing if not an exercise in breath, and as it turned out, breath was what Sooki was craving. We climbed over branches, met an impasse, turned to walk another way. Its undeniable that money and privilege are a great help. There was work to do. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. It seemed we had just driven through the U.S. epicenter of the coronavirus. The Amazing Rita Wilsons New Film About Choosing Life; How She Beat Cancer & Became A Songwriter, Hot, Sweaty And Itchy Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man When To Seek Help, 54-Year-Olds Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apples Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself. I turned out the light and kept thinking about the leash, the marathons, the trail running, the yoga, the walking in the desert, the painting and painting and painting. Sooki Raphael is Tom Hank's assistant and friend. Locked out of your account? I made it a point not to tell Karl sad medical stories at the end of his long days of sad medical stories. Every childhood is strange in its own way. The Hole Story: The Piddock Clam is a Born Architect. It's clear this was hard to write about when you turned to actually try to capture Sooki in an essay. The essays, even when they are nominally about something else, are about the weight and grief of relationships: with her father and two stepfathers, her best friend, her husband and, improbably, actor Tom Hanks' assistant, a woman named Sooki with whom Patchett develops a deep bond. I met an old friend from school who lived up in Harlem and she drove me out. Karl loved Sookis family and they all loved Karl. The essay, "These Precious Days," chronicles Patchett's meeting with actor Tom Hanks, who was promoting his first book of short stories, Uncommon Type, and had asked Patchett for an endorsement. Patchett's good-hearted nature is on full display in the title essay of her new book, a portrait of her friend Sooki Raphael, the personal assistant of Tom Hanks. Her paintings are full of light and life, as Sooki was., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael did very well. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. She had to make her train. There was a delicacy about her that was well-suited to baldness. UCLA had plans to start the same clinical trial that was up and running in Nashville, but not for another month or two, a unit of time that could not be lost to waiting. PATCHETT: Every single thing was from scratch. It was normal in October, three months postchemo and radiationgreat newsbut then started rising. He knew. Sitting there in her shaggy pink rock-star coat, Sooki told me how much shed come to hate the cold. But have you seen my phone? How do you get back on the plane to come home? Creating art, among other things, can be a cathartic process for people undergoing cancer treatments. I could have forgotten Sooki altogether in that moment, because even though I followed her story with interest, it was one of many stories. The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. The energy it took to stay alive, the impossibility of quitting. There she was in the doorway, outlined in neon tubing. My artwork is very reflective of my cancer journey, Cuozzo says. ANN PATCHETT: Aw, Mary Louise. He already knew. Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms - including jaundice and weight loss - typically present at a later stage in the cancer's development. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet,Dr. Anirban Maitra, the co-leader of the Pancreatic Cancer Moon Shot at MD Anderson Cancer Center, explains what he typically sees when patients develop this disease. From her patio, she could watch the planes take off and land. Sooki told me about evacuating for wildfires in the canyon where they lived in Los Angeles, a year and a half earlier, the night before she was scheduled to fly to North Carolina to have surgery. We looked in the car. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. I sent you another book that will show up eventually, a tiny French novel I love called The Lost Estate (Le grand meaulnes) by Alain-Fournier. The rain went on for another half an hour, and when it gave up I put Sparky on his leash and the three of us went outside to wander and gape with our neighbors. There was no more walking to a class in the dark of morningeverything was closedand so I asked her if she wanted to exercise with me. Thats worth everything.. Did you have a hard time?. And I roll them all up. Most mornings, Sooki set out in the darkness to walk the two miles to a power-yoga class that started at six-thirty, despite the presence of my car keys on the kitchen counter and explicit instructions to drive. Sooki had gone to work for the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs right out of college. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. Information; Artists; Auctions; Exhibitions; Magazine; Services; Market Analysis . I gained back twenty pounds, and have been back hiking the trails and at work full time. And even when youre in the middle of it you can still get up and go to the bathroom. Sparky had crawled onto my chest and gone to sleep. A similar medical trial would begin months earlier in Nashville. Pay She would pour color into my inbox for a while and then be gone again. There were so many other people who would have done anything to be with herher mother and husband, her daughter and son and grandchildren, her sisters and all of her friends. Im not sure I can describe it without it sounding like an extension of the mushrooms, but it had that kind of depth and clarity of message for me. Get as many nuns on this as possible. Ill send photos from San Diego. Patchett said she loves her home in Nashville with her doctor husband and dog. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. Karl was home from work when we got to the house, and he and I showed Sooki around. She told me that at home she had become impatient and angry. They reviewed her records together. The only other option was to go with stickers which could shift or come off in the shower. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Five-time GRAMMY Awardwinners and living legends, the Blind Boys of Alabama both defined and innovated traditional jubilee gospel, turning their live shows into roof-raising musical Multi award-winning Canadian singer-songwriter and pianist Laila Biali masterfully mixes jazz and pop, bringing virtuosity and unpredictability to songs that are concise and catchy (Washington Smothers Theatre, Pepperdine University 24255 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA. (He also flies a Cessna plane, which comes in handy when Sookis mother is taken into hospital in New York.) On the Trail of a Mountain Lion The footprint was in the middle of the trail. Its why I dont like to go to other peoples houses for dinner: I never want to tell people Im a vegetarian. Derecho. Her mother is the novelist Jeanne Ray. He recommends books and asks for recommendations. I was struck by an overwhelming sense of wanting to know her, of not wanting to miss Sooki while she was here. He wanted to know whether I liked owning a bookstore. I thought of her time as precious now. Id love to do your audio book! And this led to you meeting Sooki. But I was a freshman at Sarah Lawrence, and my cousins had brought me home for Halloween my first year of college because I was really homesick. The risk was too high. My friends arrived and we waved at one another from a distance as they gathered Sooki up. Gingerly we picked our way forward. As soon as the roaring thunder of approval eased, he pointed at me and said, She doesnt have any questions.. Why shouldnt I read one? A friend who was well versed in the experience brought them over early in the morning on Memorial Day. She traveled the world as the personal assistant to one of Hollywoods biggest stars. My childhood best friend was staying with us while this discussion was going on. It was just that we had piled up so much junk to keep from hearing it. But over time the idea drifted to the back burner. She joined the ships crew. She was an expert in dealing with the medical system, after all. The title piece in the autobiographical essay collection These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is about her unexpected friendship with Tom Hanks's personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, who ended up living with Patchett and her husband in Nashville while enrolled in a medical trial for pancreatic cancer. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog. I could see themmy family and my friends. Nell stayed for six months and we loved her. You have to remember.. Not to advance your cancer treatment? They were lucky and the fire skated past. People were out with their dogs. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, Caleb Farley talked about his mothers battle with breast cancer and how heopted out of his position as a cornerbackfor the Virginia Tech Hokies due to COVID-19 concerns. My official badge-carrying title at the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs was public-health sanitarian. The badge would have allowed me to inspect and close down pet stores if I wasnt too busy catching bats. Painting fell into the category of what she meant to get back to as soon as there was time, but there wasnt timethere was work, marriage, and children. Again it would appear this story had reached its conclusion. Sooki had come to our house thinking shed be staying with someone who was gone half the time and busy the other half of the time. Sooki left messages for the doctors and put her phone at the end of her yoga mat, waiting for the call back while we practiced. In the basement apartment jokingly called the VanDevender Home for Wayward Girls Sooki does what shes wanted to do all her life: paint. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. It looks like a little purse on a long strap?, I asked her if she could have left it on the plane, but no, of course not. I knew I should sit with her at the table but I couldnt imagine it. Heres a universal truth: people are interested in helping Tom Hanks. Ive got to take care of my nun, I told him. I had pictured her going through this alone, a conclusion I reached on account of a lack of information and a florid imagination. You should have planned for the financial fallout of having pancreatic cancer twice?. If it werent for me, youd be walking around with a penguin on your head right now.. She ran marathons and regularly won the Fastest Woman in Topanga title at the local Tough Topanga 10k. Her Sookis cookies recipe was famous among not just anyone who knew her, but anyone who knew someone who knew her. But I think once youre here and see the setup youll understand. Tell us. She told me that she had to put Sooki on a leash when she was little because she ran so much. My reading on this flight is a book called Radical Remission. In an essay describing why she decided not to have children (There Are No Children Here) Patchett writes that she had to make a choice between writing and children and lacked the energy for both. KELLY: Speaking of friendships that we make in college, early in life when we - it feels like we have all this time to just live in the present, tell me about another essay - "The First Thanksgiving." Its important to think about your intentions before you start, my friend told us. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. And you will always be in our hearts., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael has done very well. It was as if 98percent of her hair had fallen out, but somehow in the process, it had felted. She had a son and a daughter-in-law with two children who lived south of her and a daughter and son-in-law who had recently moved north. While other people were left to worry about a virus that may or may not have been coming for them, I worried about Sooki. We headed upstairs to lie side by side on our yoga mats, deciding to disregard my friends advice about staying on separate floors. A writers life is by definition one of solitude, but Patchett, perhaps more than others, appears determined to wrest incident out of the random details of her busy life as an A-list writer and advocate for independent bookstores. Sooki and I kept up a sporadic email exchange once the audiobook was done. We breathed deeply and flexed our spines. Are you breathing? . She loved her friends, and supported them with all she had to give. It was more like a magic trick than someone turning in for the evening. The producer of the audiobook sent me an article about Sooki from a 1978 issue of New York magazine. Its essential to the life of a novelto come upon the turn you never saw coming. I picked up one of the bigger islands and moved it gently back and forth. Daughter, husband, sister, friendnone of the people scheduled to visit her could come now that the world was on lockdown. Still, Im able, for a while at least, to pick up the thread and walk it back. We had just passed Stuyvesant Park when the first tower fell. At any point in life. One of the last things I understand when Im putting a novel together is the structure of time. Sooki had been working for the bat squad in New York when a bicentennial parade passed in front of the Bureau of Animal Affairs. Tom Hanks was so completely absent from our conversations that I once asked her if he knew where she was. Somehow I imagined that she had mentioned she was in a clinical trial in Nashville but not that she was living with us, which didnt feel like too much of an evasion, seeing as how she managed to live with us in the quietest way imaginable. The essays range in subject, but often consider relationships in Patchett's personal and professional life, including with her father and stepfathers; her decision not to have children; the close friendship she develops in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic with Tom Hanks' assistant Sooki Raphael. Miraculously, after a spate of vigorous exercise there would be enough white cells to slip her in just under the wire. We could all be boring together.. It becomes a path into the woods. Recurrent pancreatic cancer kept me focused on the present moment. She was Tom Hanks's assistant and there was work to do. I told Sister Nena the whole story while we sat in the waiting room, her foot propped up on a wheelchair. I would tell you we were idiots, but thats true only in retrospect. All day long Sooki emailed me pictures of her family with the subject line Where is our other sister? Sometimes Sooki would leave money on the kitchen counter, For groceries, she would say, for gas, for the books., I would shake my head. And it's so unexpected to come across a friendship like that at this point in life. Plans were made for Sooki to come to Nashville. She repeated her gratitude and I waved it away. Emma and I would be speaking at a librarians convention downtown. She was thrilled to get the chance to work. I dont even know how to respond to such generosity. She had wanted her life to be different, and now it was. And he did. Hows the painting coming? I would ask. Then one day she told me she was starting to shed. I met Sooki Raphael for a few minutes in Washington, D.C., around three years ago, and maybe even more than that now. When Ann Patchett decides to try medicinal hallucinogens to accompany her ailing friend on a spiritual journey (also to alleviate the pain caused by chemotherapy), he gives them space. This was the closest I could come to understanding what happened to Sooki. She helps the poor like Dorothy Day.. As we worked our way through trying to get contracts signed and making arrangements with the audio producer, our emails became an affectionate exchange. We laughed at ourselves, at the practice, at the voice that told us we were flowers, we were leopards, but we didnt stop. How did she have twenty-eight vials of blood in her? With many creative endeavors - from clothing to ceramics to a long career in the film industry Raphael has contributed to numerous projects, busily attending to the arts through a multiplicity of avenues. She was painting. It wasnt that I could kill someone; it was that I could kill her. These precious days Ill spend with you, I sang in my head. We had found each other and we would not be lost. Every morning before breakfast, we waved our hands in the air. Sooki had had a toucan in college. Subscribe to the World edition here. Karl and Sooki came in the back door together in the middle of a conversation. I had to listen to what she was telling me. I try to keep all the parts of my life separate.. Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms including jaundice and weight loss typically present at a later stage in the cancers development. 30, 2019: I imagine your kindness comes from you being kind. Oh, shes darling, Sister Nena said. And I shared that with her when we spoke about her essay collection "These Precious Moments" (ph) last November. Maybe it had something to do with her job. Sooki was coming as a patient, and more than a little of the work was going to fall to him. She was to stay in the trial, three Wednesdays on, one Wednesday off, until the regime was no longer effective or, to put it another way, until she died. I miss our emails. Its so amazingly generous of Karl, she whispered uncertainly. He told me he was going to take his grandsons to the river to go boating. Sooki had downloaded it. Karls friend Dr.Bendell knew Sookis oncologist at UCLA and her oncologist at Stanford and her surgeon at Duke. I lit the candles on the table and served the cauliflower cake and tomato soup Id made that afternoon. Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. Ive heard writers say that they write in order to discover how the story ends, and if they knew the ending in advance there wouldnt be any point in writing. is an American film and television production company established in 1998 by actor Tom Hanks and . All that breathing and twisting and flexing fed her, and the calm voice of the instructor seemed to be speaking directly to her. But all Sooki did was help me. It was late and Id just finished the novel Id been reading. The power was out for four days, those rarest of days in Nashville when it was neither too hot nor too cold. we asked. I couldnt muster whatever it would have taken to follow her, but I could hear the music fine from where I was, Greckis Symphony No.3, Arvo Prt, pieces I had loved and would love no more. She learned to solo an airplane before she learned to drive. My whole life Ive wanted this time. I told her as much. They arrive daily in padded mailersnovels, memoirs, essays, historiesthings I never requested and in most cases will never get to. This wasnt out of the ordinary for me, as Im sure it wasnt for her. There are no words here, I thought. Its okay for us to be in the same room, Sooki said, a statement rather than a question. I was in deep mourning for the loss of my best friend, and while I was and still am in shock, I could not ask anyone else to write this tribute. Was this what COVID-19 felt like? I had gotten up in the dark to make stacks of sandwiches. She started a kids clothing business. I had come late to pandemic shopping, but fortunately the staples I relied onchickpeas, coconut milkwere still plentiful. I cant thank her enough for how she raised me and because it was her who gave me all of that, um, spiritually, she, she just filled my heart with love and joy. https://thespectator.com/book-and-art/ann-patchett-these-precious-days-moving-friendship-tom-hanks-assistant/, US edition of the world's oldest magazine, How Elizabeth I provoked the Spanish Armada, Prince Harrys misery memoir is a sad and lowering book, Elizabeth Taylors life was nonstop drama, Ann Patchetts moving friendship with Tom Hankss assistant, Violence and cross-dressing in post-bellum Tennessee, Good memoir-writing should be self-critical, R.B. Just remember, Wednesday chemo left you very sad on Friday and Saturday, so it stands to reason that Thursday chemo will break your heart on Saturday and Sunday. This is a great read. Sooki was making dinner. Everything was lit up bright, the table set. I was trying to read her lips. KELLY: Well, let's dive in and talk about this one, which, as I said, is nonfiction. And I found maybe five other kids who had done the same thing and decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner. Forget that. On Thursday morning I started to cry while walking Sparky. Do you even realize your life isnt normal? Niki said when I announced my trip. I Dont Want to Move On; I Do Want To Move Forward Doug Wendt On Being A Caregiver and Tragically Losing His Wife to Ovarian Cancer, Were never gonna move on, I dont even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward, Doug said. As it turned out, Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves. I was taking in every precious day. There was only color and the color was keeping time with the music, color breaking apart into tiles the size of Chiclets, the color of Chiclets, from which cathedrals rose in the sacred spirit of the Johns Hopkins playlist. I've got mail today, from one of Hollywood's top stars - Tom Hanks. I had missed my chance. We repeated these facts, we made them a mantra. Entire countries have lost their distinctive smell, The Wests industrial-sized chicken farms could be as dangerous as any wet market. But now shes memorialized in author Ann Patchetts latest book. I came and watched from the open door. Spanish for straight, direct. These Precious Days is still on view at the gallery until May 10. She had her surgery at Duke and survived. The bookstore was closed to the public, but we were still shipping orders. The trip came together quickly. . But the only information I had was in the book. Read More. Later in the summer there was radiation, just to be safe. My mother was a pilot, Sooki said, and there she was, suddenly at ease. Other doctors are quick to do him favors because hes done so many for them. All that was left was the wall around what had been their garden. Tell you we were idiots, but we were idiots, but fortunately the staples relied. 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These facts, we made them a mantra was so completely absent from our conversations that I going... The last things I understand when Im putting a novel together is the structure of time today, from of.
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